Fan Mail
I do get a lot of fan mail and it grieves me that I haven't got time to comply with every request. Some of the choicer items are printed here. I would like to reassure you that nothing has been published with the rightful owner's consent.
People sometimes ask me about what it was like to receive a knighthood. The most striking thing, fortunately, that I remember about the occasion was the brevity of the ceremony: it took no more than ten seconds to fall proudly on my knees before her Majesty, and for her to tap me lightly on each shoulder with the ceremonial sword and say, " Rise, Sir Oracle". "Thanks Queenie", I said, "We're going down the Rovers Return after for a bit of a knees up. See you there?" "Fuck orf, Oracle", she replied, looking at the Sword of State, " before I remove your big fat head".
The other day, I sought out my old friend, Jim Parkinson, he's a doctor, you know. With a heavy heart and eyes brimming with tears, I poured out my troubles to him. He waited patiently until I had finished blubbing.
"Oh why do they hate me so? " I asked wiping my nose on the sleeve of his jacket. He smiled benignly with twinkling eyes in that wise way he has which always seems to put the world to rights.
"It's because you're such a fucking cunt", he explained, kindly.
Just in case the wishes and promises of my many admirers bear fruit, I would like to take this opportunity the wish all my readers a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.
from nonlinear:
you fucked with the wrong person, you disgusting old poofter. who the fuck do you think you are, posting edited irc logs to defame a person you don't know. you fucking ass. i'll keep banning you as long as i'm on the channel. fucking idiot.
you will never stay on the channel as long as i am there. is your idiotic slanted log libel worth it? to feed your stupid ego? no one thinks you're clever except you. everyone who's looked at your blog thinks you're a fool. you really are deluded about how 'clever' you are. you're and old stupid idiot. just remember, you will never, ever return to this channel as long as i am here.
everyone who read it the day you posted it laughed at what a stupid fool you are. thinking you're so clever. you're just old and clueless. all your blog does is make you look like an idiot. you really are extremely unintelligent and unperceptive.
you are a stupid man. stop try to embarass others publically, you only embarass yourself. don't you get it? you make a fool of yourself trying to make a fool of others, becuase you are stupid and unaware. mherarar knows so much more than you ever will, you are a fucking idiot for trying to embarass him. give it up for your own sake.
you're just a clueless old fuck trying to bolster your own undeserving ego by trashing other people, unsuccessfully.
you are a scumbag and a fool. that's the pathetic part. you're an assuming old ASS who hasn't a clue. you THINK you're clever, but trust me, you are not. you are not intelligent either.
You're not coming back. you're a stupid fucking asshole. you think you're so fucking clever, you're a goddamn fucking jerk. get the fuck out of my face you old poofter wanking shithead. you libelled me. you are an enemy forever. you will never rturn while i can stop you.you're on ignore now, so i won't see your replies. but YOU are a fucking asshole. you don't know the slightest thing about me, and your assumptions are the unltimate fucking stupidity. i'd like to kick your fucking face in, but instead i'll just keep you off #philosophy, forever.
how does it feel, huh fuckface?
you fucked with the wrong person. now you're gone forever.
you're a motherfucking asshole. a worthless cunt. you suck gay ass and fuck barnyard animals.
i'd like to piss on your fucking face.
and kick your goddamn head around.
Tempter Tantrums
Tantrums are often the result of children's frustration with the world - they can't get something to do what they want.
A child wants a sense of independence and control over the environment. This creates the perfect condition for power struggles as the child thinks "I can do it myself" or "I want it, give it to me." Try to give your child some control over little things. This may fulfill the need for independence. Offer minor choices such as "Do you want orange juice or apple juice?" Start with something simple before moving on to more challenging tasks.
If the toddler repeats the forbidden behavior after being told to stop, use a time-out or hold him or her firmly for several minutes. The most important thing to keep in mind when you're faced with a child in the throes of a tantrum, no matter what the cause, is simple and crucial: Keep cool.
Toddlers have fairly rudimentary reasoning skills, so you aren't likely to get far with explanations. Do not reward your child after a tantrum by giving in. This will only prove to your little one that the tantrum was effective.
from Kid's Heath for Parents, by Mary L. Gavin, MD and Neil Izenberg, MD
People sometimes ask me about what it was like to receive a knighthood. The most striking thing, fortunately, that I remember about the occasion was the brevity of the ceremony: it took no more than ten seconds to fall proudly on my knees before her Majesty, and for her to tap me lightly on each shoulder with the ceremonial sword and say, " Rise, Sir Oracle". "Thanks Queenie", I said, "We're going down the Rovers Return after for a bit of a knees up. See you there?" "Fuck orf, Oracle", she replied, looking at the Sword of State, " before I remove your big fat head".
The other day, I sought out my old friend, Jim Parkinson, he's a doctor, you know. With a heavy heart and eyes brimming with tears, I poured out my troubles to him. He waited patiently until I had finished blubbing.
"Oh why do they hate me so? " I asked wiping my nose on the sleeve of his jacket. He smiled benignly with twinkling eyes in that wise way he has which always seems to put the world to rights.
"It's because you're such a fucking cunt", he explained, kindly.
Just in case the wishes and promises of my many admirers bear fruit, I would like to take this opportunity the wish all my readers a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.
from nonlinear:
you fucked with the wrong person, you disgusting old poofter. who the fuck do you think you are, posting edited irc logs to defame a person you don't know. you fucking ass. i'll keep banning you as long as i'm on the channel. fucking idiot.
you will never stay on the channel as long as i am there. is your idiotic slanted log libel worth it? to feed your stupid ego? no one thinks you're clever except you. everyone who's looked at your blog thinks you're a fool. you really are deluded about how 'clever' you are. you're and old stupid idiot. just remember, you will never, ever return to this channel as long as i am here.
everyone who read it the day you posted it laughed at what a stupid fool you are. thinking you're so clever. you're just old and clueless. all your blog does is make you look like an idiot. you really are extremely unintelligent and unperceptive.
you are a stupid man. stop try to embarass others publically, you only embarass yourself. don't you get it? you make a fool of yourself trying to make a fool of others, becuase you are stupid and unaware. mherarar knows so much more than you ever will, you are a fucking idiot for trying to embarass him. give it up for your own sake.
you're just a clueless old fuck trying to bolster your own undeserving ego by trashing other people, unsuccessfully.
you are a scumbag and a fool. that's the pathetic part. you're an assuming old ASS who hasn't a clue. you THINK you're clever, but trust me, you are not. you are not intelligent either.
You're not coming back. you're a stupid fucking asshole. you think you're so fucking clever, you're a goddamn fucking jerk. get the fuck out of my face you old poofter wanking shithead. you libelled me. you are an enemy forever. you will never rturn while i can stop you.you're on ignore now, so i won't see your replies. but YOU are a fucking asshole. you don't know the slightest thing about me, and your assumptions are the unltimate fucking stupidity. i'd like to kick your fucking face in, but instead i'll just keep you off #philosophy, forever.
how does it feel, huh fuckface?
you fucked with the wrong person. now you're gone forever.
you're a motherfucking asshole. a worthless cunt. you suck gay ass and fuck barnyard animals.
i'd like to piss on your fucking face.
and kick your goddamn head around.
Tempter Tantrums
Tantrums are often the result of children's frustration with the world - they can't get something to do what they want.
A child wants a sense of independence and control over the environment. This creates the perfect condition for power struggles as the child thinks "I can do it myself" or "I want it, give it to me." Try to give your child some control over little things. This may fulfill the need for independence. Offer minor choices such as "Do you want orange juice or apple juice?" Start with something simple before moving on to more challenging tasks.
If the toddler repeats the forbidden behavior after being told to stop, use a time-out or hold him or her firmly for several minutes. The most important thing to keep in mind when you're faced with a child in the throes of a tantrum, no matter what the cause, is simple and crucial: Keep cool.
Toddlers have fairly rudimentary reasoning skills, so you aren't likely to get far with explanations. Do not reward your child after a tantrum by giving in. This will only prove to your little one that the tantrum was effective.
from Kid's Heath for Parents, by Mary L. Gavin, MD and Neil Izenberg, MD
posted by MacHeath at 10:19 PM
0 comments
